CAPSA Educators Share Stories of Why Healthy Relationships Curriculum is Important

As our educators spend time teaching in schools, they see the direct impact of the lessons they’re teaching and how students are responding to them. A couple of our educators have shared some stories and experiences where they feel their efforts in teaching about healthy relationships is paying off.  

Shellie, Education Director  

“I love teaching Healthy Relationships! There is nothing better than having a moving discussion with youth where they are able to identify the behaviors that they themselves and those around them display. Teaching healthy relationships allows students to recognize how they can continue to have healthy behavior and to adjust behavior that could be potentially harmful. In teaching healthy relationships, we get the opportunity to prevent potential future victims, but also future perpetrators.  

An experience I had many years ago still burns clearly in my mind. After teaching a class at a local school, one of the students I had interacted with over a number of presentations approached me to share that she was concerned that she had never been in love. I was aware that this student was in a committed relationship from previous comments she had made and I asked her why she felt that way. She told me that she and her boyfriend had never had a screaming and yelling fight that they needed to have a passionate make up after. This student didn’t have great examples of relationships at home, so she had turned to songs and movies that displayed “love” such as The Notebook, or the Taylor Swifts Song, The Way I Loved You, to define what love looked like. Media had set the expectation that these unhealthy behaviors were the goal to be reached in a relationship. This was a prime example of the need for healthy relationships curriculum to be taught for youth.” 

Lindsey, Educator  

“The healthy relationships curriculum is important because it, in my opinion, is one of the best foundational skills youth and everyone really can learn and grow into in order to feel safe, respected, have equal power and control in their relationships–which we know prevents violence. They learn to recognize warning signs of unhealthy relationships and the building blocks to a healthy relationship. Obviously, a person can know all of these skills and still unfortunately find themselves in unhealthy and abusive relationships, but hopefully they will be able to recognize when they are in it and the resources to help them get out of that relationship and that it isn’t their fault.    

I really love seeing the “aha” moments when I teach healthy relationships because “love” is often portrayed as this toxic, unhealthy obsession and persistence with a person. We see it in movies and music and books, if nothing else, this curriculum helps them be more aware as they are interacting with others and in relationships with others.” 

Ashley, Educator 

“One reason teaching about healthy relationships is important is because most kids and youth are unfortunately surrounded by unhealthy relationships or relationship behaviors- whether this is at home, amongst peers, in the media, or all of the above. Abusive and unhealthy behaviors are too often normalized in our society. By letting kids know these behaviors are not “normal” and teaching them the characteristics of a healthy relationship we help them realize that they deserve a healthy relationship themselves. They are better able to recognize red flags and warning signs and to look for the characteristics that make up a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships then lead to less abuse and violence in our communities.” 

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CAPSA Teaches about Healthy Relationships to Prevent Teen Dating Violence 

CAPSA’s Education Department Shares What They Teach About Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

 

Lindsey, one of our educators, recently taught about healthy relationships to a class at Mountain Crest High School. During her lesson, students learned what makes up a healthy relationship such as trust, communication, boundaries, and respect. During this lesson, they also had the chance to come up with examples of unhealthy relationships and share with the class – such as the intensity of Edward towards Bella in Twilight or the controlling aspect of the mother in Tangled. We believe it is vital for teenagers and young adults to understand the dynamics of healthy relationships so they know what to look out for in their own relationships.  

In addition to Healthy Relationships, CAPSA’s prevention educators present on many other topics. If you are interested in setting up a presentation for your students or youth group, reach out to shellie@capsa.org.  

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How the Lethality Assessment Protocol Helps Survivors

What is the Lethality Assessment Protocol?

 The Lethality Assessment is an 11-item questionnaire that is used for intimate partner violence. When officers respond to a domestic violence call, they use this assessment to determine if someone is in immediate, life-threatening danger. If so, they then refer this person to CAPSA where we can offer them immediate shelter and resources.  

CAPSA’s Partnership with Local Law Enforcement

 Research done by Jacqueline Campbell found that only 4% of DV murder victims nationwide had ever accessed domestic violence program services. Because of this, CAPSA, Cache County Sherriff’s Office and Logan City Police Department piloted LAP for Utah with Utah Domestic Violence Coalition in 2015. Now, 13 other community based DV agencies have partnered with over 60 law enforcement Agencies with additional jurisdictions joining every year.  

CAPSA partners with local law enforcement to ensure that survivors who are in dangerous situations are referred immediately to CAPSA. The screening of certain risk factors allows us to predict lethality and take the necessary steps to help survivors in these situations. 

How the Lethality Assessment Protocol Helped a Survivor

 Law enforcement recently referred a victim of domestic violence to Capsa through the Lethality Assessment Protocol. The officer had concern that there was more going on in the situation than was disclosed and expressed his concern for the victim’s safety. After learning about confidentiality and building rapport with her caseworker, she ended up disclosing much more serious abuse than she had initially shared with the officer. She had concerns about what would happen with her kids and her financial situation if her spouse was to be arrested. The caseworker was able to work through an action plan to address those concerns and provided her with the option of making another police report. With the support of the caseworker and the officer she was able to see the dangerousness of her situation and receive support to start a life free from abuse. 

Secondary Survivors are Survivors

CAPSA’s mission is to support and empower survivors as they go through the healing process, this includes secondary survivors who are caring for loved ones.  

Who is a Secondary Survivor? 

 

A secondary survivor is someone who has been exposed to abuse through witnessing an abusive event or someone they are close to disclosing the experience to them. Often, this refers to someone who is helping support the survivor through the healing process, such as a close friend, a relative, or even a parent. They may experience some of the same side effects of dealing with trauma such as depression, anxiety, and emotions related to abuse and healing.   

Secondary survivors sometimes struggle with the emotions they feel, concerned that they are taking away from the survivor’s experience but the truth is there is no right way to feel when dealing with abuse. Secondary survivors may feel all, some, or none of the emotion’s survivors feel, and all these are valid responses.   

How Does CAPSA Support Secondary Survivors?

  

CAPSA provides support and empowerment through services designed to meet the needs of survivors dealing with abuse, including secondary survivors. CAPSA’s therapy program is available, and our therapists recognize the difficulty that can come with being a secondary survivor.   

Often, secondary survivors focus on finding healing for their loved ones. CAPSA offers therapy and advocacy to ensure this does not come at the expense of themselves. Friends and family move together and heal together, and ensuring the health and safety of secondary survivors benefits the survivors they worry about as well.   

CAPSA’s therapists work with secondary survivors to ensure they have the knowledge and skills needed to be supportive and help them work through the emotional impacts of abuse.  

 

If you are supporting a loved one through abuse and the healing process, know that you are not alone. CAPSA is here to provide support, information, and advice, and help you understand the process. You can contact CAPSA by calling 435-753-2500 to speak with a trained advocate and get the help you need.